You can't. haha. Just kidding. But, you will feel so organized, prepared, ready...but then your little bundle joins your family and enter nerves...
Here's a little list of things as a mama of four that I've learned and I hope can help you along your journey to motherhood!
1. Everything takes 10 times longer-
I strongly dislike/fear being late. I do, I don't know why, but I do. One end is respecting others times which I think is really important, but the other is just a personal dislike. Ask my husband. We could have 8 minutes to spare before Church starts and I have my family running across the parking lot because I can not . stand. being. late. But, as a new Mom, expect to be late. It's ok. You will want to pack their diaper bag full of things you deem necessary and that's endearing and cute. I remember the days of packing my first sons diaper bag with 10 diapers, wipes, clothes, diaper cream (in case a rash came on while I ran to Target), a nose plunger (with Violet (4) this was actually necessary to have on me at all times), pacifiers, blankies, nail clippers(because we all clip nails at the grocery store)...you name it, it was in there..
Now as a "experienced" mom, I throw diapers and wipes in my purse and off we go. Then getting your babe comfy in the car seat takes times. Then add multiple kids to the equation with shoes, coats, clothing, everyone wearing socks (I don't even care if they match anymore, just get socks on), everyone went potty before the ride, everyone is hydrated and won't whine they are thirsty or hungry.
Getting out of the car into the store. It's not just you running in anymore. Basically, just expect for things to take much longer and to maybe give yourself an additional 30 minute buffer if you hate being late like I do.
2. You will be sore-
I think most expectant moms expect to be sore afterwards, whether delivery is vaginal or by c-section. You are told you will be very emotional (hormones). But, what I didn't know or expect was for nursing to be sore. I just assumed it would come naturally and breeze right along. I didn't start reading nursing books until after my first child was born. Start when you are expecting. I would have liked to know when to expect milk to come in. What the baby consumes before your milk comes in. It's all so amazing and wonderful to learn about. It will help your overwhelmed nerves to have that knowledge prior to your nursing adventure. I was so nervous by first go around because like you hear often "how do I know he's getting enough?". Well, that's what our bodies are meant to do. Your body will produce exactly what your babe needs, but just expect to be sore. It's definitely not easy, but neither is pregnancy and being a mama. Give it two weeks, with deep breaths and you won't be disappointed that you did. The soreness goes away. The nutrients and benefits alone are worth it all.
3. Your modesty will be no existent-
When your water breaks or you go into active labor, you will have doctors checking how far you are dilated up the wazoo. And if you've reached 34 weeks in your pregnancy, you know how they check to see if you are dilated. This gets you mildly prepared. When you are in labor, you will be checked and checked and poked and prodded. The beautiful garments they put you in will be hanging off and pushed all over from you moving around during contractions and switching positions if needed. Things exposed you never thought you wouldn't care about. Your water continually flowing during contractions and to constantly be apologizing (they don't care). Probably sounds crazy when reading this, but just be prepared to not care who sees what anymore. You'll see :)
4. You will dread when the sun sets-
A majority of babies when they are born have their days and nights confused. Of course, this doesn't seem to really kick in until you are released on your own as parents and bring your bundle home with no medical help! I will say, this part does get easier the more children you have because your confidence and calmness are greater. But, as a first time mom, your baby may be up more at night and it can be so frustrating and exhausting. There are "witching hours", this is a real thing. Your baby will just cry for no reason at all. So just stay calm, you are doing a great job. Just know that it is normal and your calmness will help bring baby down to your calmness faster.
5. Your once neat car, will be messy(and home)-
There's no if, ands or buts. This as my husband says is "period end of story". I am a constant cleaner/I like things neat, but I've come to realize, especially with four children, that your car becomes dirty fast. It's not that I want to have a messy car and I do try to clean it often, but the idea that you won't give your children snacks or drinks in the car needs to leave your expectations now. It's unrealistic :) Even with items. If you have a baby that hates the car, you will hand them many non hazzardous items from your purse that may give you five minutes per item. That's five minutes of no screaming. Then all those items are laying around your back seat. So, be prepared for your car and even your house maybe, to be much messer than you once thought you ever could exist in.
6. Laundry, Laundry, Laundry-
You will ask yourself, how does one little person increase our laundry production so much?? But, they do. Between feedings, spit up, massive poop explosions...it happens, so be prepared for lots more laundry!
7. Prepare to become your families nurse-
I can not stress enough how important it is to educate yourself. You read and learn so much as a mother. As much as we want to trust everything a practitioner recommends, or friends and family, we need to research research and educate ourselves. My son was recommended to have tubes put in and his adenoids taken out due to chronic ear infections. They had him on back to back antibiotics and our poor boys stomach was starting to hurt. Thanks to our awesome Chiropractor, adjustments (aligning your body naturally to where it should be) probiotics and garlic ear drops multiple times a day, our son was healed and has not had an ear infection since. We avoided surgery by educating ourselves.
You just learn so much as a parent and always want what is best and to help your child not be in pain/sick. So now, every cold my children seem to be getting, you better believe those garlic ear drops are in their ears immediately and we've been clear of ear infections for awhile. So many things (juices, foods, oils, spices etc) can naturally help your children fight things naturally than prescriptions/medicines. I'm not saying there will come a time when prescriptions or medicines aren't necessary. But, a majority of ear infections are misdiagnosed as bacterial when they are in fact viral, so just educate yourself to be a voice for your little muffin when needed.
Fevers are scary, but fevers are good! Your babes body is reacting exactly as it should to something foreign. Just monitor and if your baby comes down with a cold or illness. Nurse more often. If you read those books above, you will be amazed at how awesome our bodies are and how our milk protects and gives our babies exactly what their little bodies need. Cucumbers are a natural fever reducer ;) and Motrin.
8. You will shower less-
I'm not sure why...well, besides your time is greatly consumed by your little muffins. But, even on your free time (what free time???) Sometimes I don't want to waste any moment I may be given by bathing myself but instead by laying and doing nothing. lol. I know that probably sounds awful. I do bathe!! Just not as often as twice a day like I used too. I'm lucky if I get every other day. So, just prepare for your hygiene drive to be much less than it is now. We (other Mom's) definitely will not judge you on this. Maybe if you drop your paci and put it in your mouth and then your babies (me, not even then), but definitely not for the lack of showering. It just seems pointless sometimes, like washing your car when it's raining. You know you're just going to get spit up in your hair or some time of food smeared on your arm by little fingers...so, yah...prepare for this luxury lol.
9. You will be emotional-
Not necessarily in a bad way. You will be so overwhelmed with how much you could love this little human. It will overwhelm every part of your soul. I remember when I was pregnant with my second, I felt so guilty and sad because I couldn't comprehend how I could love another child as much as I love my first. But, man you do over and over and over again. Our mom hearts are so large and love so deeply, it's overwhelming. You will just look at your baby and start crying because you just love them so much.
Lastly....
10. Shutting "Mom" off is very hard-
This is not something that comes easy to me. For instance, if you hear your baby crying, and Dad is trying to soothe and calm but for some reason it's not working, you know your scent will calm that babe right down. You will not be able to sleep and be calm hearing your muffin crying through the wall. Oiy. So, you're not getting sleep anyways, so you go relieve Dad so at least one of you can be rested. It happens. There are so many examples I could give you. But, your Momness will not shut off. You will give so much of yourself because it's what we do. We put everyone before ourselves, this includes our husbands. I'm not saying you shouldn't take time for yourself and I'm preaching to myself here because I struggle with this greatly. I'm a "well our whole family is together, I don't want to sacrifice that by being away from you guys". Do take time for yourself, but just know, while your getting that facial or massage, or walk in the woods: you will be thinking of your family because your "Mom" is always on :)
I said lastly, but just a few recommendations to close it out:
-book date nights-Your husband is your best friend. You are sharing this beautiful journey with him. Hold his hand and enjoy him.
-educate educate educate yourself - Read labels on foods, read what your children are consuming. Read about medicine. Read about parenting. Read about marriage. Soak it all in!
-minimalist - there are so many products you will want but will not need. Seriously.
-stock up on gas drops, teething tablets and garlic ear drops!
Find as much joy in the difficult moments as you can, but I promise, the beautiful moments will mask those difficult moments. Congratulations!!!!!
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