Surviving the Seasons

This is my Life: Tough Seasons

You probably thought this was going to be about surviving the germy season's right?? :)  Nope. This is about surviving my days with a little more grace and hoping it will encourage you to embrace it as well.

This week was a tough one for me.  I was emotionally and physically drained.  My toosh was cooked and all I wanted to do was sit in the shower for endless hours (if my water would allow, I probably would).  This is where I pretend I am even though I'm surrounded by bath toys and a curtain I have to hold down with shampoo bottles.

Before you are a Mom you have all the expectations.  I will not yell at my children, I will not have children who speak back with attitude, I will not have a messy house, I will not nurse, I will not have crazy children not obeying in public, I will not allow my sons to pee in a semi public area. I would comment to myself that those "other" moms should discipline their children, etc.   Now, I am all of these Moms!! 

This is apple picking and I promise they did not pee on these trees! But, I have let them pee in the woods, just an added benefit to having all boys ;) 

There is so much truth in this statement.  It is so hard when you explain something to your child, for instance, staying in their bed.  You sit with them, calmly tell them the expectation, close the door, go downstairs, and you hear those little foot steps.  My whole body fills up.  I sometimes have to sit in the hall and just hold my head in my hands and pray because I know I can't do it alone.  I need His grace to calm me so I can be the best Mom to my child.  I take time to control myself, because I have had those moments where I don't gain my control and we all end up in tears because it's not how we are.  I don't like to yell and I don't like to see my child after I have yelled at them.  It's like that scene of Monsters Inc when Sully yells and Boo starts crying.  But, patience of a Mom runs thin and it's one thing that can make us better Moms. 

I had to tell myself that certain things are not big deals or I may have lost myself in the battles.  We have these ideals about how motherhood should be and how we should be as mothers and how others view us as mothers and it's exhausting.  God made us all differently and with all different children.  So although, something may work one way for another family, doesn't mean it's going to work perfectly for your family.  Absolutely accept all wisdom from Mom's because they've been through it, BUT, don't kill yourself thinking you're doing it all wrong if it's not working.  Everyone has different learning curves :) 

A Pastor at our church told us once that, God chose us as parents, US.  We are the perfect parents for OUR children and no one could be better for them.  I continually tell myself this when I feel like I'm failing. During the days that get the best of me.

Here are some things I TRY to remember to do to embrace Motherhood for all that it is.  A Gift! :)  

1. Pray- This may seem silly to some, but it is the furthest thing from it.  When I read and am adamant about reading and seek God first through any trials I am facing, I have far more grace than I ever thought I could based on how I'm feeling in the heat of the moment.  Even if Anthony and I are having a disagreement and instead of continuing through my emotions, I step away, read and I can then attempt have a respectful conversation (at least I try). :) 

2. Laugh- If I am silly (which I am!) I have noticed that my children, and even the children I watch, relate to me more.  Yesterday, I legit had a full out dance party with them, even broke a sweat, and they were laughing and having so much fun, and so was I!  They love to see you act like a goober and be one of them.  Whenever Anthony has an adventure with the boys outside, they talk about it forever! Literally.  They laughed and explored together and they love you in their elements of childhood. 

3. Think to yourself-is it TRULY a big deal- There are certain areas I have not let my priorities down.  Let's say, my child walks in from outside and keeps their boots on, yes, I'm upset because my floor is dirty.  Yes, I will calmly explain myself again that we can't walk into the house with wet shoes, but, does this warrant me getting bent out of shape?  No.  Keeping them spot clean all the time? No. I have three boys and we love to be outside, we love to play and be dirty.  My boys live in crocs in the summer and their feet are disgusting!!! But, it's not a big deal to have them clean every moment.

We will not lax in obedience, respect and being "truth tellers".   The standards are the same for all our children.  We expect all the same responses and respect for the three of them.  The same behavior, etc.  I will not ignore bad behavior or give in to it.  These responses shape our children.  We are responsible for how they turn out and grow into adults.  The labors are soooooo hard right now, exhausting; but I have seen families and see how great the fruits are when we put in the gracious efforts! 

4.  Relax- A continual struggle.  Jamison is the child that pushes this area on me quite often.  He is so wonderfully frustrating in many different ways.  All my children are, but he is definitely our "trying" child.  Jamison could literally sit on the potty when he has to take a "poop" for a half hour!! I don't know about you, but I'm in and out.  He sits there and sits there and sits there and sits there.  I have now chosen to not sit there and chat with him anymore because I was getting so frustrated.  Are you done yet, are you done yet?  Instead, I go complete another chore and let him have the time he "needs".  Will definitely have to invest in good books for him to keep near the potty! 

5. Trust myself- There are so many books and blogs out there as well as advice from other parents about how you should be doing something.  This is when you can really feel down and out.  Feel like a failure as mother.  But, you need to trust that you are doing everything right.  Seek God first, He promises that if you seek him, he knows the desires of your heart and he will not deny you those desires.  I constantly pray for my children.  I pray for their lives, their future, their spouses, their days.  I have many desires as a Mom.  And as I expressed before, when I pray for patience and grace for speaking gently and respectfully to my child, man does He supply!!

Right now I'm dealing with a 5 1/2 year old boy who is one of the most loving little men you'll ever meet, moody with an attitude that could make you cry, so smart (like surprisingly smart!) and so much more.  All in one little boy!  My almost four year old, is so adventurous, hilarious, major button pusher, deliberate, but when he tells you he loves you and hugs you, the best.  And then my 1 year old son, who is learning to walk, temper filled, adorable and likes to make his brothers mad.  All these three different personalities, juggling how to manage each child right all under one roof, it's exhausting!  But, God gave us these little children! He gives me the strength I need to get through each day and to give all that I can and in all the different ways each of my sons needs me.  I'm tired now, but I know I'll miss this exhaustion when they are calling me about their own kiddies :)  Give thanks in the stress.