Comparing NOise

This is my Life: Comparison NOise

It has been almost a month since I've written...ehh.  I wish I had more time for it because I love it.   This morning, my middle son woke up with his "barky" cough and looking pale, so we took a break from Church (husband still went) this morning allowing us a little extra home time (which consisted of decluttering EVERYTHING and cleaning sheets). 

While staying home doesn't seem strenuous on the boys, they actually nap better not going anywhere, so I'm given a little time to write.  :) woohoo.  

Joy!  It's something every mother should notice she is blessed with but with social media and what are known at the "mommy wars", it's soooo hard being confident in the mother you are.  Comparing yourself to other moms, or even other women, steals YOUR joy.  Which in turn, takes away from the joy of your motherhood.  

We compare everything.  We compare strollers, attire, houses, husbands, children, parenting styles, discipline, food,  faith...just about everything.  I have caught myself doing it.  Wishing my house could be as clean as a friends,  being home without having to work, vacations, prayer time and more!  But, that's not who I am and in those moments, I had to quickly turn away and thank Him. Thank Him for my season.  Thank Him for knowing the desire of my heart was to stay home and raise my children and He found a way for me to do so.  I thank Him for always being there despite the moments when I feel like I am not .  After Nathan was born, I found it soooo hard to find devotion time.  I prayed and had my small group pray and again....

When we compare ourselves and lives, what does it do?  Tears us down.  Depletes our confidence and our sense of "self".  Allows our relationships to struggle.  It also is not setting a good example for my children.  When we pray, I tell them to make sure they thank Jesus. 

I noticed, for when I had moments of self doubt, I found myself plugging into my husband for everything.  To show me my value and boost my confidence.  It was putting a great deal of pressure on him, when in fact, he can not fill that longing for me.  It wasn't fair to him or our marriage.  

Our husbands are the ones we see most, who know us best and expect from.  Unfortunately, for me, I was struggling with my value and my "self".  As a stay at home mom, you don't get work reviews, bonuses, advancements, raises, etc, to be told you are doing things great!!   Instead, we stress about how we are raising our kids. For me I was relying on my husband to acknowledge my home accomplishments (cleaning, food, laundry) and when he didn't, I'd feel discouraged. Who was this helping? No body. It was also stealing my husbands joy.  Instead, I started to pray and focus on the One who can show me my worth with the wonderful direction of our Pastor and his wife! 

When I wake up in the morning (this is, if my children aren't pulling me away from my bed right away) I  ask God, How does he see me?  I sit in this silence, this beautiful silence until I hear Him.  I posted this picture above this  morning and I love it.  I keep looking at it because it's a wonderful reminder.  The season that I'm in right now, I'm a Mom.  This is my main focus and what I do.  I nurture, teach, clean, feed, and on some days, I feel like a failure, but then I remember, the most important thing I'm doing is pointing them to Jesus and doing all I do for Him.  When I hear them pray over our meals or close our days at night with their bedtime prayers and their growth over time... When we come down for breakfast, Jamison asks in the morning to read our Jesus Calling. Last night, Connor prayed and by himself, he says "and we lift up Mr. Delangie and ask that you heal him". This moment brought more joy than I can even describe in words.  At the end of my days, after the daily battles, exhaustion's, behavior corrections, it's sometimes hard to see what you are doing right.  But, in that moment, I felt it and He showed me my value and that I am in fact getting it :)  

My family is not perfect, I am not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. That's all that matters.  So, when social media, television, etc show you all the moments that can pull you away from your joy, remember, you are YOU! You are unique as are your children.  Don't compare your children.  They are also unique. They are not the same as other children and other techniques or approaches may work well for another family, but YOU know what is best for your children.  Be confident in YOU and you will feel free and happy.  You will then be able to experience all the true joys of life and motherhood.

As my husband likes to say "Happy Wife, Happy Life".  We do set the tone for our homes, so let's set it on "joyful". <3