Budgeting!

This is my Life:  Budgeting

Isn't that the truth??!?  Budgets are wonderful if you can stick to them.  Often times we find ourselves sticking to our budget, money's looking good, then we fall off the wagon.   Or, we have husbands that do check the account everyday and we try to hide sneaking in an iced coffee when it's not on the budget, right ladies?  Scrapping the house and car for coins! 

Most helpful tip: We print our monthly reports from our bank to see where our money went.  We went through and highlighted any fast food, etc, this includes iced coffees!  We were SHOCKED to see how much money each month we were spending on this.  $3 here and there does not seem a lot.  But, when you have two people doing it more than twice a week!!! $120 a month has been given to Dunkins, McDonalds, etc.  It was truly an eye opener.  I encourage you to this. 

Here's a little glance into how we always budget our money.  Excel is wonderful for this.  You can format the equations within each cell, so it will calculate out your intake vs outtakes.

1. First start with your income:  List your income (if two, add both). This will allow you to see the earnings you have coming in every month.

2.  List out all your expenses: Above is a picture I found online.  Some of ours would be
                                  Mortgage
                                  Electric
                                  Cable
                                   Phones
                                  Cars
                                   Compassion Int
                                   Hulu
                                   Gas
                                   Condo Fee
                                   Groceries! 
                                   Tithe
                                   Medical bills
    Just to name a few ;)  So, on the spreadsheet, you will list similar to above photo.  

3.  Now you will subtract your expenses from your income.  This will leave you with your "extra" cash.

4.  I do recommend budgeting out additional expenses.  Such as, if you have a monthly or bi-monthly date night.  Deduct that.  Try to be as real and precise as you can.  This will give you the best idea of how much you can put into savings each month.

5.  Include as much as you can so you "high ball" to be on the safe side.

6. Allow an allowance for the both of you.  It's unreasonable to think we won't buy something, even a nail polish for ourselves within a WHOLE month.  Or, want to treat ourselves to those yummy drive thru treats.  :) 

7. Put remaining money after deductions into savings or pay down those credit cards. 

8.  I have read many things that recommend carrying cash instead of using the debit.  I, personally, do not agree with this.  But, this is just me.  If I have cash on me, it feels free.  Like I can do anything with it and it won't be tracked because I won't remember where it went.  And boy does it leave a lot faster!!!  Using your debit card, it's tracked, so when you do look back, you can see TRULY what you spend your money on.

9. Also, touch base with this every few months as things change.  For instance, when kids are enrolled in a class or sports.  Those are expenses too.

Hope this helps.  When we stick to this, it makes a huge difference for us financially.  The worst is always having to transfer from another account to make sure anything still out there is covered.  Stressful!  So, sit down tonight and try this and stick to it :)

A suggested guide and if you like it on facebook, has lots of helpful tips :)

Teaching our children the value of money :)  Hard work and using their earnings!

The Lonely Moments

This is my Life: Electronic Friendships

Motherhood is wonderful.  Every mother knows that.  The moment your baby holds your finger for the first time, the first smile, the first steps, the connection when your baby is nursing and you look down and the immense love you feel for this little person just brings tears to your eyes.  The moments where your children are loving each other and you are so proud and joyous inside seeing them hugging each other on their own time.  Kissing your husband and having your little family and looking at this little beauty that you made together. But, with all these wonderful moments, comes lots of alone time, which seems odd for a stay at home mama.  

 My house is filled with children everyday, all day.  You wouldn't think for a moment I would feel any ounce of loneliness.  But, I do.  The children bring me laughter and lots of noise everyday.  We do activities, but my heart and mind are focused on children.  The little muffins can not be my friend.  Someone I can chat with about how my day is going or confide in if I woke up to a whole box of cereal poured out all over my table or talk about the joys and pains of nursing.  I COULD chat with them about this stuff, but I'd probably get empty stares or some amazingly cute remark.  

 If you think about it, there are A LOT of alone moments in motherhood.  It starts with nursing.  First, your the sole provider keeping this baby alive.  No body else can nurse your baby. Well, the could haha. But, it's you sitting up every two hours feeding your baby, alone in the night. Often times there are family and friend gatherings after you have your baby.  If it's your first baby, you aren't completely comfortable nursing in front of a group of people so you remove yourself and go to a bedroom.  Say you are out at a restaurant and although you fed your baby in the car before going in, baby needs more and you leave the lovely meal and go stand in a bathroom stall and nurse, missing family time or even just some chat time with your husband.  Or, perhaps a family birthday party and it can make men uncomfortable, even if you are covered, if you are just sitting there chatting like nothing is going on under the beautiful cloak, so we respectively move to another room. Nursing in front of my Dad, no no :) Again, missing out on real life adult conversation. 

Then comes actually getting out of the house to make it to stuff.  This is a chore in itself!! Bundling up the children, starting the process sometimes an hour in advance so we get to where we need to be on time.  Exhaustion if you didn't sleep the night before or the days were so trying, that in the end, all you want to do IS stay home and snuggle at home to catch another hour power nap while your muffin naps on you so you can continue to function when your needed. 

 There are times, when I'm sitting in the back of church, especially when I was still nursing in the "nursing room", that I'd be sitting there alone listening to the message, hoping another Mom will have to feed her baby soon, so I can maybe get 10 minutes of chat time with a friend.  Just to see how their days are going and mine and chat about our nights and lack of sleep or teething babies, anything!  

Yes, I could chat with other Moms at the park or the library, but I'm usually keeping tabs on more than one child, which leaves my conversation to zero.  Or an attempt at a conversation but chatting as I walk away to make sure my kids are safe.  Even play groups, the conversation is desired amongst all of us but between the noise and the continual constant need of our children, it's hard.  Adult interaction is pretty much non existent. 

Winter does not help.  Every week someone's kiddos are sick again.  It's sooo hard!! We are restricted to the indoors a lot, which I'd have to say, this year we have ventured out a lot now that the kids are getting older.  It's nice that my older two love to be outside and playing in the snow. But, my youngest only lasts maybe 20 minutes out there before he becomes really fussy and cold which leaves me peering out our side window and gazing upon my boys playing.  We may have a little play group planned with a friend and someone comes down with something and our conversation is then left to, our electronic friendship.  Which, let me tell you, I'm so grateful for electronics.   When I'm having  a bad day or struggling with something or something I came across struck me so funny, I can log onto fb and chat with my close girlfriends. I have a wonderful group of women that I can confide in and chat with via messenger, but to physically see them and talk with them, there's no comparison.  

 Our husbands work.  It's not always easiest for them to talk on the phone or text whenever we need them.  As much as they would want to be there for us, it's not feasible.  They are the person we see most and the person that can bring us the greatest comfort and intimacy.  But, when it comes to chatting about hormones, PMS, womanly issues,etc, as much as you can chat to your husband (which I do, and I get the most gracious responses), they can't relate. The don't know how we feel, they will be sympathetic, but to hear the words, "I know exactly what you mean", it's like figuring out a diagnosis.  It's music to the ears.  And to hear how other woman handled it and overcame certain obstacles, it's wonderful. 

Just as a note:  because you feel lonely does not make you a terrible mother.  It is a VERY common feeling.  We are giving all of ourselves everyday all day.  It's very trying and I know none of us would give it up, but, it gets hard not having someone sometimes to sit with you.

So, what should you do?
--- Read ALOT.  I have this book I'm reading with a dear friend that I've "made" my mentor. haha.  I just told her the other night that although she is my best friend, she's also now my mentor.  We are reading our book together and chatting when we can and we finally put a meeting on the calendar and will do so a couple times a month.  Find someone you can do this with.  Just talking on the phone with her about struggles as a wife and Mom, it's so comforting to hear how she relates and can provide the wisdom we all long for.  

---Continue your electronic friendships.  To just encourage through messenger or text is so important.  It may not be ideal, but it is what it is. Get the prayers you need when you need them.  It's a support system! 
---Take time for yourself.  This was a big realization for me this weekend.  I DO NOT take time for myself, clearly another struggle of mine (imperfect)!  I for some reason just feel like I can't leave or don't want to leave when my family is all here.  Those few hours I get with my husband after the kids go to bed are something I long for all day long. To give those up just seemed crazy!!!! But, what good is that special time, if your not in a good place.  It's a healthy transition.  To care for ourselves so we can care for others.  I'm just stepping into this! 
---DATE nights!!!! Before our last date night which we had to ask almost every person we knew to watch our children so we (I) could just get a couple hours alone with my husband, I couldn't tell you the last date night we had had together.  I think this is a struggle most couples face when they have children.  Is actually getting out of the house together and finding someone they can trust with their children and actually GETTING out.  You don't realize how important these nights and time with your man actually are and so important for a healthy marriage. It started with you two ;)  We definitely need more of these on the books!
---As hard as it it sometimes when your alone nursing in that room and that immense joy you usually feel isn't present at the moment, just look down(at baby, not the floor haha).  Think of something in that moment that you are grateful for, write it down on a sticky and just stick it on the wall near where you nurse.  You'll have this little mural if you will, of all these moments in that same spot that have happened.  Just a thought :) 

Meal Planning

This is my Life: Meal Planning 

 

I don't have an exact guide that I follow for my weeks of planning meals.  Let's face it, with more than one child's mouth to feed, it's very difficult to make a dinner that EVERYONE loves equally :) Winter is much harder to plan meals!  Summer, we grill ALOT!

You know your children would prefer to eat this every meal:

Over this:

One night at dinner, we had the Italian Shells from Hamburger Helper. (yes, I know).  Very easy meal to make, YUMMY, so bad for you, and Connor looks to me and says "This is the best meal, Mama, thank you".  A boxed meal gets more praise than Mama's home cooked meal.  Sounds about right ;) haha
So, here's what I stick to and some easy ideas for Mom's in a fast paced world.

Lunch:  I stick to the very basics
                            Peanut butter sandwiches with some fruit on the side or veggie straws . I utilize the fruit cups, mandarin oranges, pineapples, peaches, etc. The Veggie straws you can find in the organic chip section.
                            Grilled cheese with the same type of sides
                            Rolled up lunch meat with a piece of cheese and a side
                            Chicken Nuggets with a side
                            Crescent rolls rolled with cheese and baked, the kids love these two with a side. 

Awww and dinner: These are just some ideas that I have found that work for my picky muffins.  I utilize the CROCK POT alot.  Having three kids of my own and caring for other children during they day leaves me limited to extra time to prepare dinner for my family.  So, once the kids go down for naps, I'll throw a quick meal in and it will be ready for dinner!  Here's an example and maybe some good ideas for a week.

Monday:
BBQ chicken with pineapple in the crock pot.  #1 draft pick right here. 
  Throw the chicken in the crock pot, I use either thighs or drum sticks.  Cover with your choice of BBQ sauce and dumped drained pineapple bits on top of the chicken.  Cook for 5ish hours on High.  This is a winner with my boys.  They LOVE BBQ chicken.  This takes all of 5 minutes to prepare.   For a side, I buy the steamer vegetables, or salad as well as stuffing or rolls for another side.

Tuesday:  Tuesdays Anthony has school so I have to make sure whatever I chose to make WILL be cooked and ready for him before he leaves for class.

Either Chinese pie or Chicken Pot pie is always a good choice, but a little more involved.  If you have about a half hour to prepare a meal, then these are wonderful choices because then you just have to bake for about 45 minutes once prepared.  If not, egg fried Rice mixed with vegetables and chicken is a wonderful choice dinner too. Easy, maybe take 5 minutes.

Wednesdays:  We have Small Group, so I try to do a dinner with the least amount of dishes possible.  Often times, we make Wednesdays Pizza night.


Thursdays:  A nice Pineapple (yes we love pineapples) Ham Steak dinner.  I buy the ham steaks that sometimes come pre-marinated. Or it's easy to buy ham steak and drizzle the pineapples on top and bake for about 20 minutes.  For a side, we'll have steamer green beans sprinkled with garlic salt and mashed potatoes.  Mashed sweet pots are delicious too!

Friday: Chicken, Corn, black bean and cheese quesadillas.  We use the griddle to make these and they are yummy.  For the kids, well Jamison, he likes just cheese.  For Anthony and I, we load them up. These are quick and easy clean up! 

This a a rough look at what our meals look like for a working week.  Obviously things come up and we may have a day where we do Breakfast for dinner, which is always comforting and easy.  :)  But, if it helps you to have a calendar, I hope these meals help! 

Then Enjoy:

Eating dinner around the table as a family :)  There are so many benefits for our children just by simply sitting at the dinner table together as a family.  It gives us a chance to pray together before our meal, talk about our days, etc.  There are nutritional benefits of course, but they go farther to emotional! Which is huge!!  You'll teach manners, and respect :)  A chance to provide chores for your children to help, dinner time is a great chance. Setting the table or clearing the table!  
So, my encouragement for this week if you can is eat dinner around the table with your family every night.  Throwing a fun picnic in as well, the kids always love (if the meal allows haha).   


                           

1 baby...1 toddler....1 boy....3!

This is my Life: Parent of Multiples 

I have had a strong desire to write about being a Mom of multiple children.  I read a blog a few weeks ago and although some parts made me chuckle (really just the van "upgrade"), it had a negative spin on things, when in reality, it's wonderful! 

I mean look at these three muffins! How could you not want them?  I may be biased because I'm their Mom, but still ;)

You know that feeling you have the first time you hold your baby. You get to do that each time, it's the same amazing overwhelmed feeling of love each time.  Obviously you are different, you are a more experienced Mom each time.  You're confident in your ability, you're confident in nursing and confident with how to comfort.   For Mom's the push out their babies, the relief of being done after many MANY hours of laboring with your baby and the struggle, you finally hold your baby for the first time, wouldn't you want to experience that feeling again as bad as it was? 

I remember a nurse saying to Anthony and I when she would come check up on us after Nathan was born, she could totally tell it wasn't our first rodeo.  I mean Anthony was holding Nathan with one leg up on the side of the chair, haha.  A natural Dad if you will.  Not nervous on how to hold a baby :)  

Each child brings you different struggled and different joys.  That's just part of being a parent.  Even a parent of one child, you will experience this.  You will experience the struggles of shaping proper behavior, you will experience wonderful joy.  With more than one child, that is just magnified.  The struggles are there and everywhere and the joys and different personalities bring a dynamic to your family as a whole.  You learn to "manage" your children.  You get a a schedule, you know their different needs, you learn what you need to do at certain times to conquer a task.  

 For instance, you often get asked the question, how can you afford to have so many children?  Or, do you think you should have another child, you may go broke?  Really?  Yes, having children does cost money.  Especially if you have your children in daycare or private schools and your grocery bill does go up!  But, think about all the "extras" you spend money on when you don't have kids.  You go out to eat more, you may buy nice expensive clothing or handbags, starbucks coffees vs mcdonalds coffees, vacations.  When you have children, you become a financial advisor.  The fancy things don't matter anymore.  You cut back on cable, you cut back on eating out, you cut back on buying new clothes every season.  You realize that these little lives you are bringing into the world bring you more joy than an expensive bag could ever bring you. You may get by by just the skin of your teeth and live pay check to pay check, but think about when they are adults, and the amazing holiday's you will have and the bond you are creating for these children.  They will share life together always!  It's very TRUE that money can not buy happiness.  Value Life, not money. 

Yes, there are more messes, Yes, you may have crazy days driving one kid to soccer and the other to piano. Yes, the laundry sometimes piles to the ceiling, Yes, there are more dishes, Yes the floors are a constant battle, Yes, you will have cereal and other gross sticky food items in your car when you never thought you would, Yes you will climb into bed and find toys or have to share a bed some nights, Yes, they will get sick and sometimes all at one and it will seem never ending, Yes, you will have handprints on all your windows and appliances, Yes you will probably get throw up on your nice rugs and if your lucky, in your car, Yes, you will probably have to get the dreaded van, Yes, you will have moments of panic, Yes, you will struggle, but look at this picture below. 

Doesn't it take away all those stresses above? You are creating an everlasting bond.  Our middle son Jamison, can not sleep with his big brother Connor.  They have been sharing a bedroom since Jamison was 22 months when we moved him into a twin bed.  When he moved up, we bought bunk beds.  They love each other and they adore their little brother Nathan and we hope to soon be able to do the same for Nathan.  To see your children loving each other, there's nothing like it.  YES! they fight, more often than you will like.  They will bicker and it will make you want to scream at moments and that's natural, even being around a lot of people will make you want to do that.  But, think as an adult, it's easier to bicker with the ones we love most.  And, that right there is exactly that.  You LOVE your family most. Your children will grow together, they share childhood together, they will share the same memories and be able to look back and laugh about funny family vacations, or remember whens?  Those are the best and they will only share them with each other.  Not a friend, not a cousin,  but their brother or sister. 

Lastly, even though I could name a million blessings of having a lot of children, they bring you closer to God.  Even if you are not a believer, you will find yourself in helpless moments where you throw up a prayer.  You may not even realize it.  Your child could be sick or your child could have gotten out of your sight, many reasons,  you will find yourself saying, Please God, Please God.  These little children are the closest thing we have to Him.  They are our closest earthly gifts we have to God. 

There are women out there that would do anything to have a baby, to have more than one baby and it's a struggle for them.  Count your blessings and enjoy the fun chaos!  It will be gone before you know it.


You are creating a Legacy.  You are raising a family enjoy it and multiply ;)

Fear

This is my Life: Struggling with Fear

This is Connor when he was 3 days old.  3 days new and how could you not have fear.  It's so scary when you are released from the hospital as new parents and sent home.  You don't have the doctors or nurses right there with you anymore.  It's all YOU. On your own. Parents. 

When I was pregnant with Connor, I struggled with fear everywhere.  I feared for the world I was bringing him into.  I remember sitting on the floor of our apartment and watching the primaries and bawling my eyes out because I was so afraid of raising him in a world like this.  I was afraid of everything he was going to have to encounter.  I was afraid to leave the house.  Not an extensive fear but I mean look at him.  He's so new and beautiful and I Just wanted to remain in my safe home and snuggle him all day long.
                         They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the 
                                       Lord to care for them. Psalm 112:7


I feared he wasn't getting enough milk.  I was nursing Connor, my first baby at the age of 22 and I had no idea what I was doing.  A support system is huge when you are starting to nurse and it was a struggle.  I doubted myself and I doubted my milk.  Why would I doubt this???? Milk is a natural thing God put there and it's free!!!! Needless to say, about a week in, despite the pain and surrounding struggles, I was gaining confidence in being a nursing Mom.  Now it's a passion of mine :)
                          I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from
                                                    all my fears. Psalm 34:4


Now my fears are bigger.  With the world we live in, I periodically get rushes of fear when I'm dropping Connor off at school.  With all the shootings at schools, how could you not be fearful? Sometimes after I drop him off, I'll pull over in the parking lot and just pray the Lord is present in his school and pray for protection over the school and everyone!  I give it all to Him. 
                          This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid
              or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

 I am fearful on days where there is bad weather and Anthony has to drive to Mass for work, even some days that feeling will hit me randomly even on a normal weather day.  Fear my children will be taken by someone, fear my children will get sick. It can consume you and has consumed me.  But it doesn't have to be like that!!!

The BIGGEST ONE: I was fearful for my children.  For their health,  for their lives.  WHY??? This past summer, I'm sure most of you can recall, we were in Boston with Connor quite often due to recurring fever and leg pains and no one could figure out what was wrong.  Lots of blood work, tests, xrays and NOTHING. Yet my son was getting fevers of 104 if not higher every other weekend, waking up crying because he was hurting.   I felt helpless.  You know why? Because I am.  I can do all that I can do in the flesh, I can give him the Tylenol, I can put the cold cloth on his head, I can hold him in my arms and comfort him, but what is that all doing if I am not Trusting the One that can help him and heal him.  It was a huge awakening.  At our church, we do what is called "dedicating" our children to God.  We stand before our church and proclaim that we will be raising our child of faith and love for Jesus.  I did the act of this, but I did not completely TRUST.  It brings me back to the story of Abraham and Issac.  I get so emotional whenever I read it because I could not fathom what that felt like.  We love our children so much, more than life itself, would lay down our lives and sacrifice everything.  You know what, SO DID HE!!!! And let me tell you this, we then had pastors at our church lay hands on Connor and since that moment, a moment I cried and cried because I realized that I was not trusting the whole time (total Mom failure), he has not had a fever or episode since!!! Praise report right :) It was a huge lesson for me and a trial I realized why I had to go through it.  


My point is, what does fear do? Do you see all those times I feared, I was losing my joy. 
The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1  Fear is the enemy getting a nice foot in the door and taking away the joys of our lives that we are suppose to be experiencing and seeing the good in our lives and giving thanks.  Not worrying about everything that could be!  How something can take your focus away from something so beautiful, it controls our minds and steals those moments of joy. 

Cute side note: Jamison was playing with the Firehouse the boys got for Christmas (boy version of a dollhouse) and there are bunk beds for the fireman.  He had the fireman laying there and I hear him saying "well I'm scared" then his reply as the other fireman was "You don't need to be scared, you have Jesus in your heart". (something we told them regularly at bedtime).  He is three and is whispering this as he plays by himself. 

Even if you are not a Christian, this can still happen in your lives.  If you think about all the things that could happen instead of being in the now and enjoying your life, you get stripped of happiness.

Fear not :)  I don't know about you, but I choose JOY!

How Do I Do It?

This is my Life: How Do I Do It?

I am often told " I don't know how you do it", "where do you find the time", "where do you find the energy". Well here is how and I hope it provides clarity and perhaps benefit your days as well!

My days are structured by routine.  Children are proven to thrive with routine, and honestly, so do I.  Anthony leaves for work at 6am, so once he kisses me good-bye, I am "up".  I lay in bed until the boys grace me with their presence. The boys wake up and start their day between 6:30-7am.   After they come into my bed for a few minutes, we read our books.  "Jesus Calling".  It a small reading, but a great way to start the day.  They then go play in their room and I hop in the shower.  (Yes, Nathan is still sleeping, he LOVES to sleep, can't complain over here!).  

I hop out of the shower, get into one of my many pairs of yoga pants and head down stairs to start my coffee.  In the meantime, Connor gets dressed for school and Jamison is usually by my side begging me for breakfast at this point.  I prepare their breakfasts and get Connor's snack and bag ready for school.  At this point, Nathan is usually awake and the three cherubs I watch in the morning get dropped off at 7:30.  We bundle up and hop in the van for 8:15.  The school is only 10 minutes up the road and they need to be dropped off at 8:40, but I have to bundle Nathan and help Jamison and Leah (the little girl I care for) get their stuff on.  We walk out and I buckle Nathan first as the other two follow me.  The older boys come out shortly after as they can bundle themselves.  

Awww, the amazing drive to school.  Only 10 minutes, but let me tell you, I could NEVER be a bus driver.  I have an incredible amount of patience, but one thing that can send me over the edge in a matter of seconds, is a bunch of noise from all directions with no substance. lol. If that makes sense.  So, thank God for technology.  Our van has the built in DVD player, so we watch a little flick every morning on the way to school as I sip my coffee and control my sanity.  It's better for everyone :)

Not every morning is smooth, not every drop off is easy.  All kids have moods just like adults.  One morning all the kids could be in great moods and everything goes great, other days, one kid may not have slept well and drama is created throughout the morning.  But, that comes with the territory of children right?  They are just like us, they have bad days too. 

I love this picture.  My pictures that I post everyday (like to keep the families updated as well as mine) make it seem like everything is perfect and pictures can definitely display that.  But, this picture above is real life.  I'm so happy my friend got this.  Jamison was doing great through this whole photo shoot, then, just like that, he was moody and wouldn't cooperate.  My days go the same way.  But, you have to go with the flow and try to stay structured.  Kids love having a sense of what comes next.  So, after we drop the kids off, we have some free time. 

We are so structured by our routine that maybe a month into watching Leah, when we would walk in the door from picking Connor up from school, she would starting crying because she knew at this point we ate lunch and then comes NAPS!!!! Halleluiah !  She doesn't do that anymore, but she's still not a huge fan, but she lays down and nap.  As do Jamison, Nathan and the other children I may watch.  Connor does "relaxing time".  This nap period is on average 2 hours, give or take.  During this time, I work for my billing job.  I work 20 hours for this job.  I work 2 hours at naps and 2 hours when the kids go to bed.  I used to work in the office, but had to give my notice because this was during that brief time we had Connor in daycare and he kept getting sick and getting Jamison sick. It just became too much and honestly, it felt like all the money I was making was going to medical bills from being there everyday (literally).  When I gave my notice, they asked me to work from home and I was and still am grateful.  I did not watch other children my first two years home and it is a great way to contribute to our family.  But, I enjoy children much more and the ups and downs they bring so I started this journey. 

This is the walk Jamison stuck his finger in poop :) See it's not all butterflies and rainbows!  But, I can be honest, I love it.  When your in high school preparing for school, everyone always talks about what they want to go to college for, etc.  I always said Nursing (and went to school for this), because who says they want to be a stay at home mom and raise lots of babies???  That's not a career you can chose.  It's a career you have to pray for and I did just that.  God knows the desires of our hearts.  He knew my desire to find an amazing man, get married, and make babies.  I have been blessed with just that.  And now, I get to have more adorable children in my home so I can raise mine at the same time.  

Where do I get the energy?? I can't say where I get the energy.  I guess just consider it to have a passion for something.  Some people love their jobs and love going to work and doing what they feel they have been called to do.  Gives them energy doing what they love.  This is what I love to do, this is what I feel I have been called to do.   There are days that I fly through a day with such grace and looks back and it was an awesome day. Other days, I will sit on the bathroom floor and just cry because I feel like a failure.  Children bring out these lovely emotions in us. haha.  But, jobs/careers do that too.  I'm sure you have cried over your job, whether it be something that happened to you or someone you encountered.  My days are the same, my job is just in my home and I wouldn't have it any other way.

After naps, roughly around 3pm, I will clean the kitchen and start to prepare dinner.  The children will usually have free play, do a craft or watch a movie accompanied with a snack :) 
The children I watch usually leave around 5 and then it's just our Richard clan. 

Even when I am not watching other children, my home is still on routine.  Our activities may be different day to day, but the kids know after lunch, we take naps, after showers/baths, it's bed time.  I'm a huge advocate for this type of routine because I believe it builds a sense of trust in our kids and provides them to feel safe and sound.  They all sleep through the night and bedtimes are easy, they are not a battle. I mean even Nathan, who is 12 months old, knows when I lay him on he floor , I rub him with baby gel after his bath and he started rubbing his hands once I laid him down because he knew it was coming!!!Also, this picture below, was random. Connor and Jamison take showers now but they wanted to join Nathan and I saw a cute photo op. :)

One of the hardest things I struggle with is finding me time.  Finding time to read, finding time to just watch a show, finding time to journal, finding time to crochet.  I stay up a little later to get my reading in and I'm blessed with good sleepers and I still get a good nights rest.  :) Also, date nights with my man are very few now. But, we'll be vacationing together when we're 40, that's what we tell each other!

I encourage a routine if your days seem chaotic.  Try it, it can help your mood as a parent and behaviors for your children.  You will feel "safer"/"calmer" because you know what you need to do next and they will feel "safer" because your children know what is coming.  You will get so used to your days and knowing when your moment to sit down finally, it will provide you with the energy you need to care for yourself and your family!  Hope this helps!

Husbands

This is my life: Husband

This is my husband, he's a pediatric doctor.  HAHAHAH! Just kidding.  This is Anthony cutting Jamison umbilical cord.  He's not a pediatric doctor, but he is a scientist.  Seeing these pictures of him, he looks like a total natural (and mighty good in the scrubs), but I can tell you, his stomach is not a total natural!

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:6-9 <----This is our wedding scripture.  Man o Man does it hold truth! A truth you don't really comprehend. A wedding day is the most important day of your life.  To me anyways.  Yes, having babies is amazing, the day you hold your little muffin in your arms:amazing, having a life with the man I love is amazing. I wouldn't have all this if I were not married to this man. (it's not all hunky dory, but we will get to that) .  I vowed to this man. So, you start your journey together as a married couple. So easy right? nope.  First thing, you leave your "father and mother and be united".  No longer are you dependable on your parents. This becomes YOUR journey together.  

 We got pregnant with Connor six months after being married. (Did I mention that we were told we were having a girl, hence the pink all over baby shower!)  So, our first year of being married, was also thrown in with the awesome pregnancy hormones ;). I remember one day we were looking at houses to buy (we lived in an apartment), and he made me so upset that I threw a laundry basket at him!  This all because he was probably being rational and focusing on the money than my dream "mind" and I threw a laundry basket at him. haha. I can laugh now, but in that moment, no no. We ended up buying a townhouse, which is where we live now and are raising our family of 5.

 During our first couple years of being married, we had your typical little arguments.  Spending/Saving money, chores around the house, helping out at night when the children would wake up, etc.  One day we had a bad argument.  I couldn't even tell you about what it was now, all I remember is sitting on the floor playing with Connor and he got upset, and walked out of the house with no shoes on.  It was summer, scorching hot pavement and he just walked up the road.   Once he came back, he had blisters on the bottom of his feet!  We were a young new couple and did not know the ins and outs of how to deal with our disagreements.  We made up and went on. Then came, A WEEKEND TO REMEMBER!  Family Life is amazing and let me tell you, transformed our marriage.  I always loved Anthony, I knew I would NEVER leave him, I respected him (at least I thought I was), I was being a wife (at least I thought I was), this weekend away put everything in perspective for both of us and forever impacted our marriage.  I wasn't respecting my husband the way I should, I wasn't being the wife he needed me to be or that I should be.  We cried pretty much the whole weekend (not surprising right? we are an emotional couple) haha, but no, not the whole weekend, but enough to see the light and how we wanted our marriage to be and how we wanted our marriage to be for our family.

Husbands: leaders of our household.  An incredible blessing and major responsibility.  I sometimes feel like their responsibilities and the pressure they feel is vastly overlooked. I can honestly say, I do not think it's a role I could handle.  We took a class at church called "Growing Kids Gods Way".  Chapter 4 (I memorized this, that's how much it impacted me), the Father's Mandate!  Mandate: this word even sounds like a lot of pressure. This was an in depth Godly lesson about the role a father plays in his children's lives and how to manage it. As a stay at home Mom now, I fall into the trap of forgetting the immense pressure that my husband experiences.  I'm home all day, raising our children, taking care of our home, doctors appointments, dental appointments, everything involved with our children.  Once he comes home, I feel like my day has just been much more than his.  Like he was just out sledding for the day.  He's not.  He's at work. Has a two our commute, which car rides are taxing in themselves. I'm home and have been caring for our children all day, I feel like I'm the leader of the household, because all day, it's just me. I am not.  Anthony makes the big decisions for our family.  What cars we should own, when we should do maintenance, remembering to pay the bills, etc.  Being a Godly man and role model for our sons. All for our family. 

 I have to constantly remind myself that it's not just how he acts.  It's not just how he shows love for me as his wife, it's equally as important for the Mom too.   I want my boys to see me adoring their Dad.  See me take care of him, supporting him; even when he makes a decision that I don't necessarily agree with, he's the final word and carry on. Seeing how a wife should treat their husbands because that is what I would want for them.  I want them to have wives that will adore them. All days will not be full of roses, disagreements will happen! It's just all in how we handle it.  To not argue in from of our children, to control our speech towards each other. 

Both roles, Mothers and Fathers, Husband and Wives are both very important in their own ways.  I am not down playing a Mother's role by any means, we are EQUALLY important, just in a different ways.  He is a gift! Don't forget to treat him as one :)    

 

Today:  Greet your husband in a way you usually wouldn't! :)

Priorities

This is my Life....Priorities

Shoes.  I feel like shoes are one of the most frustrating and annoying things to buy.  When Connor was a baby, I was/am in love with Puma.  We bought him these cute little puma sneakers when he started to stand.  Children GROW so fast.  They have growth spurts and you spend $40 on a pair of shoes for them that they sometimes only get to wear for a couple months. You HOPE they can possibly be handed down to the next, but then the next child will have chubby piggies, or a dog will poop in one of the sneakers (yes this happened) and then by the third, you don't really focus on the shoes let alone get them out of their pjs.  I started buying a size up in hopes that would help control the buying of shoes.  My point is, children grow sooo fast!!! Right before our eyes, they are growing, learning new things, hitting new milestones, waking up from nap with a whole new laugh.  Moments you don't want to miss but so many of life's "chores" sometimes take you away from seeing these memories or even noticing these adorable little gifts sitting before you. 

This was our kitchen this morning when I woke up (also, 2 pans on the stove).  With Anthony being in school for his Master's, the evenings of being energetic to get the kitchen clean are tough.  (He graduates in May though, woohoo, a very proud wifey over here). Let me tell you, when he was off for two weeks at Christmas, our kitchen and our laundry did not pile up, it was wonderful.  However, this was our kitchen today.  The children I watch get dropped off at 7:30, I maybe rise out of bed at 7, giving me no time to tackle this before my day of additional children to my own arrive.  Three years ago, this would have made me extremely nervous.  Messes still make me nervous.  I can't sit "peacefully" with a mess around me.  I am obsessed with Lysol wipes and strive to keeping a clean home. This is both a blessing and a curse.  But, where are my priorities?

This was (is) our laundry this morning.  Four loads of laundry that so graciously piles up in our hallway.  This also, makes me uneasy.  I have to walk by it at least 20 times a day, hoping that when I graze past it to walk down the stairs I don't knock it over!  Kind of like when you pile the garbage like Jenga.  It's sort of like that. Now, I could have easily brought the older boys to school this morning, come home with the children, let them have free play time as I sit there and fold the laundry followed by snack time where I would have conquered the kitchen.  These two chores could have taken my focus away from my children as well as the little lady I watch.  But, instead, I was being pulled.  Instead...this is what we did.   

We spent the morning at the beach.  Yes, it's winter!  But, blessed with a very mild day, the beach is tons of fun in the winter.  Do you know how much more fun it is to watch children laughing and just the pure Joy of being with them? To watch them finding little creatures, shells, seaweed, chasing seagulls?  That would not have been the experience for the morning if I had chosen to let the kitchen and laundry consume my thoughts.  These chores are very important, don't get me wrong!  But they can pull us away from potential moments that we won't get back or get a chance to experience again.  Yes, we will go to the beach again, but seeing Jamison run full force into the freezing water, that's a memory I'll have forever now and it was hilarious! I wouldn't have this memory had I been doing the dishes. The dishes and laundry will not change.   They do not make us smile, or laugh, or feel loved.  They actually make us feel the complete opposite.  They can make us moody and not so fun to be around. 

This has been a constant prayer of mine over the past three years.  Once I started staying home, I felt overwhelmed and consumed by my home.  A Mom is the home.  If we are in a bad mood, most likely, the rest of the home will be in a bad mood.  YOU can change that! I encourage you, the next time you are feeling consumed with the thought to do the laundry, clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen, mop the floors, etc., grab your child(ren), plop down and read a book with them, or play a game with them, or take a walk with them.  You will be happily surprised by the cute comments that come out of their mouths and what they notice.  Or a simple kiss to your cheek .  These are moments you won't get back and that will, with time, become your focus and consume your mind. :)

Again...you won't find these joyous smiles elbow deep in a toilet.

P.S.  After naps is when I conquered the kitchen, the laundry is still keeping balance!

Welcome! This is my life...

Welcome to my life. I hope it will bring you some encouragement, laughter, support, and comfort.

This is my family! I'm a lady in a home of four amazing gentlemen.   There are no jeggings (no idea what these were until I started to nanny for a little girl, sad I know), pretty headbands, tutus, or Princess Sophia undies!  My life is surrounded by Spidey, Transformers, Ninja Turtles, baseball caps, stinky soccer socks and boxer briefs.  And I wouldn't have it any other way! Secretly hoping for a girl next..shhh!  

My husband, Anthony, and I will be married 7 years this May. SEVEN years!  I can not describe how fast it has gone by.  I feel like just yesterday I was flying down to NC to visit him at school and him making me a yummy ham dinner.  Now we are a growing family, with three children. Three sons, that is.  Connor, our oldest who is 5, Jamison our middle son, he is 3 and Nathan our youngest random red head, he is 1. 

Conquering life decisions everyday! Sometimes not so important, but they feel it....what to make for dinner for our family (because we all know not EVERYONE will eat it, cough "Connor"), where to send the kids to school and how we will afford it, how to conquer the laundry, when to do the grocery shopping (Do we want to conquer it as a family or drop it to one parent and get it done fast), how many gallons of milk to buy now.  I had a dream the other night that I was shopping for milk and I had to purchase a 40 GALLON tub of milk.  That's right, and I was trying to pull it down the aisle.  That's where we are now, buying four gallons of milk, 5 boxes of cereal (2 are my addiction to raisin bran), oatmeal galore and 5 different types of meat for the week.  And I can proudly say, despite the "difficult" day to day decisions, balancing our check book (which we all do right), raising our children and raising our children as Godly children, I am more in love with my husband now than I ever have been.  The trials truly do bring you closer and as hard as they are when you are in them, and they feel like forever sometimes, the fruits are far worth them.

I am a stay at home Mom, but also a working stay at home mom.  After Connor was born, I went back to work and Anthony's grandmother was able to watch him.  Once Jamison came along, we wanted Jamison to stay with Memere, which meant we had to enroll Connor in daycare.  I was devastated to say the least.  It wasn't a good experience for us and he lasted four months. I quit my job and we pulled him out of daycare.  Let's just say Jesus works in the most amazing ways.  By quitting my job, I was asked to work from home and this was the greatest blessing.  I was going to waitress at night to make our ends meet, but now I have been given my work in my home and I get to stay home with my children.  It hasn't been easiest ride but certainly for the best.  I struggled greatly at the start with organizing my time while being the primary keeper of our home and keeping it running and raising our children, preparing all meals, being there for my husband, keeping Jesus front and center, all while working 30 hours a week.  Definitely has it's pro's and con's but, this is where Jesus wanted me and exactly where I desired to be. I will get into that more in a later post.  

I will post every Monday and Thursday focusing on the joys, struggles, milestones, etc of my experiences as a Mom and Wife with topics such as a life with three boys, breastfeeding (a passion of mine that was a gigantic struggle), SAHM and working Mom's, fear, joy, intimacy, organization, discipline, and LOTS more.  I'm really excited to be transparent for you! Enjoy !  

*Trust in the Lord with all of your heart* Proverbs 3:5 (Our memorization of the week)