Fascination with Birth Order

This is my Life: Fascination with Birth Order

Over the past year, I've become fascinated with birth order.  I have three sons and we are expecting a daughter in March of the new year.  So, seeing the different dynamics in my home, it's made me aware of behaviors and traits each one of my children possess.  

 My husband and I are both first born children.  We like to be organized.  The bills and finances, etc have become my husbands area now.  Before children, I had a binder, color coordinated, all three hole bunched, labeled when paid..oh yah, that's right.  But, now, as you can imagine, I don't have the time to be three hole punching bills, let alone getting them to where they need to be on time.  I've taken on a new role of where I need to be organized.  With my children and the children I care for.  My boys have so many different things they need for school, etc.  For instance, on Mondays, Jamison needs his clean sheets, etc for the week, his snow gear, back pack packed with his lunch and folder, water bottle for gym.  I'm sure there is more but I can't think right now lol.   For Connor I need to review his folder daily, lunch, snow gear, book if it's library day, I have to pay attention to what event is happening at school.  This week there is a theme every day and I reviewed the list last night and as we were driving to school, I said, oh Connor you forgot to wear a festive sweater!  Really I forgot to remind my six year old son.  But, I'll be on it tomorrow :)  You learn right?  For Nathan, my youngest who will be two at the end of this month, I have to remember to have him empty out before we hop in the van for drop offs in the morning.  I have to remember to install car seats on Sunday for the little ones I watch so I'm not rushing around in the morning.  Doctors, dentists...the list goes on and on. Just a lot of stuff, but that is what I have taken on for my first born organizing skills!  

The Firstborn Child: The Achiever
The eldest child will probably have more in common with other firstborns than their own brothers and sisters. Because they have had so much control and attention from their first-time parents, they are over-responsible, reliable, well-behaved, careful and smaller versions of their own parents. (Online resource) 
So, looking at my son Connor and actually both my husband and I, this is completely accurate.  My son Connor, who is our oldest, he's six, fits most of the descriptions above and more.  Obviously being six, he tests limits, etc.  But, even with discipline, he responds much differently than our second and third born sons.  My husband and I being the eldest siblings as well, we are much older than our siblings.  Connor is only 22 months older than our middle son Jamison.  I'm five years older than my sister and my husband is 7 years older than his sister.  So, we had a much larger gap of being the only children and these straights being enhanced :)   Any of you other first borns relate?    I remember one night at our small group with our Church friends, we took a pole of how many of us married first borns, etc.  It was almost exactly matching that each one of us married our spouses in the same birth order.  We work well with those like minded :)  Fascinating right?

The Second Born Child:  The  Peacemaker
If you are a middle child, you are probably understanding, rebellious, cooperative, thrives on friendships and flexible, yet competitive.You and your older sibling will never excel at the same thing. The personality trait that defines you as a middle child will be opposite of that of your eldest and youngest sibling. But those wonderful social skills that you have learned as the middle child -- negotiating and navigating within your family structure -- can prepare you for an entrepreneurial role on a large scene. (online resource)

So here is our Jamison (Yes, he is favored among many :) :) mostly second borns themselves lol)  and for a good reason.  I often say that God blessed him with an amazingly beautiful face because he was going to be tough.   By the way, he's the one the red arrow is pointing too! Jamison thrives on positive reinforcement.  He loves to know if he is obeying and will ask often and loves the recognition if the answer is yes!  He is bubbly, friendly, kind, caring, smart, energetic but then also, aggressive, loud, quick to anger,exhausting, uncooperative at times and before Nathan, we thought he'd be the one we disciplined most ;)  Where it takes Connor one discipline, takes Jamison probably five.  He certainly tests and keeps Anthony and I on our toes with being consistent.  When we tell people around us or I express to some of my Mom friends if I'm having a struggle with him, they are sometimes shocked because when he's in Sunday school, or with our family, etc.  (outside of our care mind you) we only get excellent reports.  In school, his teacher said he is wonderful, listens, loves to help, they actually had to make a praying chart for other children to be involved because he continually wanted to pray.  So, as difficult as parenting him may be at times, we see the fruits of our labor already at his young age of four!!
Also, most middle children, and much that I read it says they are forgotten or overlooked often.  I don't agree with that at all.  The middle child syndrome is silly to me and we often tell Jamison, the most special thing about him is that he gets to be an older brother and a younger brother.  Not many people are blessed with such a role as he. 
The Youngest Child: The Life of the Party
If you're the baby, your parents are already confident in their role as caregiver, and therefore are more lenient and don't necessarily pay attention to your every move or milestone as they did with your older siblings. Thus, you've learned how to seduce the crowd with charm and likability.As the youngest child, you have more freedom than the other siblings and, in a sense, are more independent. As the youngest child, you also have a lot in common with your oldest sibling, as both of you have been made to feel special and entitled. Your range of influence extends throughout your family, which supports you both emotionally and physically. Hence, you experience a sense of place and security. (online resource)

Our third born son, had this been my first, I probably would have been scared he'd break and arm! Now...he's good!

So although our Nafer wafer is our third born, he's not our last so I'm not sure how accurate that will be for him.  But, I will say, I'm grateful we are having our children all close together.   A lot of the description of the third born states that the parents are more relaxed.  Which absolutely in a sense we are.  More in the areas of we got this.  We aren't nervous about certain things as we were being first time parents.  I nursed awesome because I knew what I was doing, I had the experience.  He's adventurous where we were probably a little more cautious with what we let Connor and Jamison do,  although not too much. Nathan sees the world much differently and we are laid back more in that sense.  He sees more because he has two older brothers.  So, where Connor would have never climbed nearly as much as Jamison or Nathan do, they had an older brother they saw doing that at an older age and wanted to participate.  But, when it comes to behavior and correction.  We are evenly consistent with all.  We do not favor one over the other or let one get away with something that the other didn't.  We aren't tired in that sense.  Well I shouldn't say that...we are TIRED! Seeing how Nathan rises before the sun even comes up lol, and has a far more aggressive demeanor than Connor ever did.  But, there comes in play, the birth order! That's why I'm so fascinated with it.  Because, through every family, it stays pretty consistent.  

Now how will baby girl play into this birth order?  With where we are right now with behavior and discipline with the other monkeys, I'm praying super friendly and obeys our every word.  What?  I can dream can't I??

 Each child is different.  Although they came from the same parents, they are completely different and require different approaches and love.  Connor could snuggle me all day, where Jamison likes to snuggle only at certain times of the day and Nathan is the same as Jamison.  All are very affectionate (sometimes too much according to their schools) and we're working on that haha!  They love differently and need love differently and as parents, we need to recognize, correct and nurture that so they can thrive as their own individual people.

Love these muffins and all their unique differences <3 The best thing, they are brothers and that will never change.