This is my Life: What's life like with four kids you ask?
It's like this! haha. It's everything. It's beautiful. It's chaotic. It's hilarious. It's emotional. It's precious. It's stressful. It's exhausting. It's love. It's messy. It's fulfilling. It's loud. It's perfect.
Had I written this blog yesterday, it probably would have been emotional and a little moody because as some may have seen, our Nathan wasn't feeling well. In those moments are when I think...ohhh when people ask me how life with four is? I should mention the evenings when one or two wake up. A few nights after being home after Violet was born, a meal didn't agree with Nathan's belly and he was throwing up...We were thrown right into the life haha.
First let me start by saying...the Bible says that the Lord blesses us with our hearts desires (Psalm 37:4). I don't think I even knew I desired having a daughter. I always said I wanted four boys. I LOVE being a boy mom!! But, I needed this little girl probably as much as she needs me. She brings such a pure completion to our home. If our home could smile on the outside, the moment she entered, it would have! (lol cheesey but true). We all adore her and I truly love the feeling of having a companion. Talking to another girl about the stinky boys :) It's cute and fun!
Obviously it has it's moments of just p.u.r.e exhaustion. Violet still wakes up one or two times a night to nurse. It's not the type of thing where, as other nursing mother's know, you aren't sitting there asleep (or maybe you are lol). You are tired, but you are awake. You have to burp and change diapers then get them back to sleep. This all takes about a half hour if not more. Then have to get yourself back to sleep. Fortunately, after years of sleep deprivation, I can function pretty well on at 5 or 6 hours of sleep. But, when one of our boys is having a hard time, whether Connor's in one of his flares with fevers, Jamison needs to pee or Nathan with his ear....on top of nursing, I felt like a zombie yesterday.
But, these evenings are rare and that is what's so beautiful. Yes, those bad nights can seem to over ride the beauty that is having four kids, but I won't let it ;) These moments...
Over ride it all! I'm not going to lie, it has it's definite hard times! If I'm by myself, like when we went Jordan's furniture and Connor was doing the ropes course, Violet of course, exploded..so as I'm changing her diaper on my legs, Connor and Jamison are at the ages where they will sit nice and stay close with their friends, but Nathan books it. Thankfully I had a friend with me to help! It was also stressful When Connor was high on the ropes course, I was worried about him, I'm walking around the smaller ropes course with Nathan keeping and eye on Jamison ahead of him and Violet in the ergo (carrier) screaming at me. Or when we're trying to get the boys all bathed and ready for bed and Violet is just screaming bloody murder at us. Or when the boys are having a disagreement and then Violet is crying. I need ear plugs! See, it's pure bliss right ? ;) But, as with all kids, it's all in phase. I know Violet will outgrow the "scream at me about everything" phase, I know Nathan will outgrow the "don't listen to a word my mom says" phase. I know Connor will outgrow the "I'm an adult now I can make my own decisions" phase and I know Jamison will outgrow the "moan when I cry" phase. Then before I know it, Anthony and I will be driving on some trip with our family as teenagers laughing about all of the above with our children who will probably all be taller than me.
Anthony and I, both, are not the type to not take adventures or do stuff with our children. We won't let having four kids stop us from going out to dinner, or to a park, or anything really. Our theory is, the more we expose them to these types of situations, the better they will understand how they are to obey and act. We've gone out to dinner four or five times now as a family of six, yes, we chose loud restaurants until they learn, so we don't disrupt other people...but we make it through :)
It's crazy beautiful. I would never recommend to someone to not have a large family because of any of the above..I'd probably recommend it because of the above. It makes life fun!
Things that change? Well we already had the mini van!....We usually have to use two carts now if we attempt to shop...we probably will start to get excluded from gatherings (lol just kidding)...The laundry legit doesn't end, I thought it was bad before, nope! I can no longer just say "the boys" it's now "the kids" ...dinners are louder...hard to find someone to watch FOUR children...but doesn't this sound fun?!? I hope so!
The difficult thing for me as been to balance it all. Of course, my children constantly see me holding Violet because I feed her and because she's a baby. This has been hardest on Nathan since he was just that for me a short couple months ago. The more time that passes, the better he seems, but I have to make sure I'm deliberate about showing him a great amount of affection and attention. A lot of positive reinforcement and affirmation as that seems to be his love language. Connor and Jamison of course do great. They had already gone through welcoming Nathan at a young age and I watch the other children which helps! They are very patient and understanding. We try to keep the routine and family stuff we do together the same which I think is important and helps the balance of it all.
Then, then next thing that I find most important and look forward too is taking time for myself and time with Anthony. I will straight out admit this has been my hardest struggle. That seems next to impossible right now. I miss reading!!!! Between being home all day with the kids and other kids...Anthony's new schedule leaves me alone until 6, then baths, bed times and then I'm still a wife at the end of it all. The moment my head gets to that pillow, I'm gone. But, I was a wife before I was a mother. I try so hard to remember that and remember the deep importance of it. It's probably one of the hardest balances next to balancing four children. But, it all levels out eventually and I see the rhythm coming! Sadly, right now, the times I get to have most contact with my husband is when we're in the car and all the children are restrained. I can hold his hand, rub his neck, kiss him, all without being pulled on. Might be yelled at by a child, but I've learned to tune that out pretty well at this point :)
Obviously it's amazing...and having three boys and then a little girl comes with tons of sweetness and tender love that's just...ahh..I'm just grateful I can capture so much of it!
This is my Life: Welcoming Violet Bea
It's been along time since I've blogged...but I have a valid excuse right? And yes, I know I have to change the name of my blog now!
We welcomed our fourth baby, Violet Bea. She completes our family more than my words could ever express. She's absolutely beautiful and I think the diapers are easier (I've heard lots think boys are easier...no no). This may get a little long so bare with me!
Violet was born March 25 and was 6lbs 13oz and 21"long. I was just as shocked as I'm sure most people were at just how tiny she was. Nathan was 8lbs 11oz and was almost two weeks early! Violet went the full 40 weeks (another shocker!). 1. She's a lady 2. Mama didn't sit at all this pregnancy! 3. Mama also didn't get to eat as many peanut M&M's as she did with brother Nathan either! haha.
The Delivery was emotional to say the least. First, I knew I was finally in active labor so I called asking what they'd like me to do as my schedule c-section was in 12 hours. My water did not break, but I had had contractions for roughly two weeks and they finally were stronger and less than five minutes apart. I called and my doctor, yes, that's right! My OB was actually ON CALL! He has not delivered any of my children and to say I adore this man may be an understatement. I call my mom to come on over (also her last time getting this call!) She arrives and Anthony makes himself a bagel as I'm standing at the door ready to go have a baby. Also remember, this was when my whole family was sick, so Anthony thinks he could have a fever and conjunctivitis lol. Great!
We arrived at the hospital after Anthony eats! and had to be buzzed into the hospital as it was after hours. We walked up and we talked about how this will be our last time walking in and taking the elevator, walking past the gift shop, up to the maternity floor, emotional right?
As we got welcomed by the nurses, my doctor is sitting there on the computer and he jokes "just watching a youtube video on how to deliver a baby by cesarean". He's seriously the best!! So, they check me, monitor my contractions and all agree I'm in active labor and all the prepping began. They put in my IV, which is such an awful experience for me. Once that was finally over, I walked into the OR and Anthony waited in the waiting room until they called him in. He doesn't get to come in until they are ready to actually begin the surgery. The spinal and prep I do alone. Sad I know! ehh.
So, after spinal and everything starts to numb up, my Dr. gets some Journey playing and it was just one of the best experiences I've ever had. My anesthesiologist was also amazing. So sweet talking to me about his son and just taking such great care of me and his genuine concern. Ashish (my Dr.) was doing great. I actually didn't have much shaking during this surgery. It wasn't until I was in my room that my shaking got really bad. So, that was nice. Lots of tugging and pulling and then up above the sheet so I could see was my beautiful daughter. I instantly saw Jamison. I couldn't believe this was the last time I was going to be doing this. Just seems normal at this point for Anthony and I to be doing this every two years...now we won't be. I had my tubes removed (which I could smell this..very weird) so the surgery took a little longer and I guess my abs had separated so he repaired those as well. As I laid there looking at Violet across the room, I started to cry. Happy tears and some not so happy tears. I don't want to call them sad tears because I wasn't sad necessarily, was just an odd feeling knowing this part of my life was complete. This was it. After I was closed up, Ashish came and kissed me on the cheek and told me I did excellent. So special and I can't describe how wonderful it felt to finally share in this experience with him too. Anthony and I wanted to get him a little something as well being our last hoorah. He went to UNC for school, so we got him a UNC scrub cap and bow tie! :)
Once they sat me up to go to my room I started dry heaving and I couldn't remember the trip to our room. ..was a blur that I felt in and out of.
Nursing went great from the start. Lactation never came in to see me, cracks me up. Always a painful start with the soreness and the absolutely horrendous cramps!!! Because we haven't been through enough already? I don't take many pain meds, my pain didn't seem severe too me and I'd rather ride it out than keep taking medicine. I honestly only took a Tylenol to help the cramping from nursing! Sad that that overrides my abdominal surgery pain. The numbness takes a few hours to start wearing off. They put these massaging cuffs around your calves to prevent blood clots. Always painful to start getting up and moving which they had me doing the next evening but the quicker you start moving the better and quicker the recovery. Once I can get up easier, I get my catheter out and get to bathe! yay! It feels so freeing the moment I know I'm not hooked up to anything.
Anthony and the boys came the second night to have our first family dinner together. It was wonderful but so hard at the same time. It's just so hard when I can't really move around and have to be so careful with everyone near me and moving and not doing too much too soon when all I want to do is hold my children. Hardest thing when you have three sons waiting for you let me tell you. But, the boys absolutely adore her and I posted the video of the first moments they saw and met their baby sister...I often watch it. They are just so tender and sweet and love hard sometimes but all from a good place. She's so lucky!
The second night, I think I've told some, but Violet turned literally Violet. It was so scary. She was laying next to me in her bassinet and I heard her doing this weird swallowing noise, and so I attempted to roll her over the best I could from my reach because I still couldn't really sit up on my own and I started to yell to Anthony that he needed to get her because something was wrong. She looked darker to me. So he came over and started suctioning her throat with the bulb syringe and told me to call a nurse. I called and they RAN! Scariest thing, they had her upside down suctioning and finally she got air and turned back to pink. Needless to say I couldn't sleep. Took me longer to get her into her bassinet at home because I was so scared from this and she spits up out her nose sometimes and that freaks me out too. ahhh. stress!
I do have to stay a minimum of three days. I was savoring this stay, the peace, the food delivery, the fresh iced water in my water bottle always full, the me not having to raise my voice at anyone...this was my vacation for the time being! The day we were getting released I was feeling great and then attempted to go to the "bathroom". I used the quotes because you know what that means. Oiy! I had severe and by severe I mean....beyond extreme severe constipation. I won't ever go into details about this and what had to be done...let's just say I'd rather have another c-section...Yes, that's right, it was that awful! Finally got home and our lives with four began! also a shout out to nurses!!!! Underpaid indeed. The nurses were the best and I'm going to miss those connections too. We did fb after this delivery though which was nice!...stay tuned for how life with four is!
